I Write Sins, Not Tragedies!

As she stood there in front of the mirror, looking deep into her own eyes, trying to find answers to questions she couldn’t bring to ask herself. She was looking for something more than sadness and disappointment. She wondered if she could find love, envy, guilt? There was nothing she could see in those expression-less numbed naked eyes. Is that all she could feel after the warm shower she just had, the water tickling through her body, making desperate attempts to rise every feeling she has been hiding inside, burning her broken soul into nothing but yearning ashes and melting her flawless body into mere vapor. She quickly removed her bathrobe and changed into her sexiest black satin lingerie, checked herself out, and gave a no-nod, and changed into a flaming hot red one.

“He likes the blue” a lil voice in her head peeped out. She swept her hand thro her lingerie draw and saw the brand new blue ones hanging in there untouched. Checked herself once again in the mirror, gave a nod and went for the blue. Then her routine continued as usual, she went on to apply moisturizer all over skin, face, neck, hands, legs…gently feeling her skin all over..

“You know the softest part of u is where you don apply any of those” he said.. she giggled then...and she continued the application.. with a lil mischievous smile..

“Don’t wear the smile..Doesnt look good on u anymore” came the lil voice once again and she quickly wiped off the silly smile..She was getting sick of it. Sick of the sick look she been having these days, with no make up and no hair-do.. no interest in anything..she took a kajal stick and applied it generously all around her eyes.. and gave ‘em the life they been thirsty for.. felt full and complete..hit the mascara for an extra oomph..and of course dashed her strawberry gloss on the lips.. and blew herself a kiss..

“Ready to charm sweetbun?” she didn’t bother to answer the lil voice anymore..he must be home anytime…and she rushed into her perfumes to find a really seductive one.. and the best of the lot was her favourite.. the one that brings in nostalgia with just a whiff..and can take her back in time and place instantly..she felt younger and out there.. and more alive..whenever she wore it…

“Too much life isn’t good baby” her eyeballs arched towards her ear as though the lil voice came from there.. and like a sudden change of plan.. she started painting her nails…All done and she sat on the bed.. her perfume smelling all over the room.. she went into a trance.. she could attain nirvana in this setting.. all she needed was him by her side now …and of course only if the lil voice kept some distance…

The doorbell rang, she slipped into something fast and opened the door…he walked in.. she sat there not bothering him.. kept blowing her nails to dry…tryin to maintain a disinterested look on her face..while scanning him walkin up and down.. freshening up..

“Dinner?” he suddenly shouted. She nodded a ‘No’ and kept studying her nails…and started painting her toes…after what seemed like hours.. he jumped beside her in the bed.. and…. turned on the TV.. the click of which she assumed is the sound of her heart breaking.. she laid her head down and closed her eyes slowly..

The lil voice was laughing.. loud and clear.. she completely ignored it.. tried to concentrate…counting the clicks from him..

Click … click…. click…click.. click…snore…snore.. snore.. snore.. Snore…

She turned and looked at him directly for the first time that evening.. he was tired.. fast asleep.. he looked like a baby.. her eyes were tickling to water.. she looked up at the clock.. twas half past eleven.. switched off the TV.. turned off the lights..took one deep breath and walked across the room…

Checked herself thro the mirror once again in the dark… with the moonlight seeping from the window, only her eyes were seen …sparkling and glowing in it.. yet still numb.. still expression-less.. she slowly brought a finger to her lips and pressed it….a foxy smile cropped in..her eyes lit up…she gave a quick wink at herself.. tip-toed to the back door…tripping into the heels that were kept there already.. n jumped down the wall…

“Can’t wait to get into his arms eh dolly?” the lil voice giggled… she smiled back thro her eyes...”the night is still young… so are you” the voice whispered into oblivion, as she disappeared into the darkness…so long…. so long…